JANUARY IN SAN MIGUEL...THINK SPRING

We wanted to share with you just a few shots of some flowers at our rental home in San Miguel de Allende.



WHO'S ON FIRST

Living in San Miguel de Allende is different for us in many ways. Certainly there is the language barrier. Also, many of our friends here are much older than us. Sometimes their hearing is fading and sometimes their thought processes are just a little off. Sometimes a lot off. Beyond that, we look different than our Mexican friends and some of our friends actually think I am a big guy. At five foot ten inches and weighing one hundred and fifty-five pounds when I am wet, I certainly do not consider myself big.

We volunteer to teach English, to bring food and computers to schools and we have even helped build adobe brick homes. We have also sold tickets to fund raisers; we have been greeters at fund raisers, etc. But the other day, I was asked by Diane to be a bouncer. That’s right; “Bob the big guy” was asked to be a bouncer at a fund raiser. The conversation with Diane that led to this position went kind of like this –

“Bob, we need your help. We want you to be our bouncer next weekend”.

“Me?”

“Yes, we know you’re a CPA and a CFE and those are the credentials we need.”

“You want a CPA and CFE to be a bouncer?

“Of course, who better to protect us than a Crime Prevention Assistant and a Certified Firearm Expert?”

“Diane, I am a retired Certified Public Accountant and Certified Fraud Examiner.

“Ah, I see. You’re undercover. I’ll keep my voice down. And, Bob, please don’t forget to bring your weapon.”

“I don’t have a weapon.”

“Bob, we are a bit older than you and our eyesight isn’t as good as it once was but we see the bulge under your sweater.”

“It’s a calculator”

“So that’s what you call it. Okay, bring your “calculator”.

“Why? Are you expecting some bad numbers at the event?”

“Yes.”

“Yes? “Okay, I could use my calculator to divide and conquer them”.

“I love it when you use security lingo”. And keep a good lookout for Harry from California. He’s jealous of our success and could be disruptive.”

“How will I recognize him?”

“He has one arm. But, he has compensated for his loss.”

“How do you compensate for the loss of an arm?

“He kicks and bites. He smells bad too. You’ll know when he’s coming”

“And you want me to defend your guests from Harry with my calculator?”

“Exactly! You’re hired.

“I’m hired? So I get paid?”

“Of course not. This is a charitable event.”

“Will I have back-up?”

“You mean help?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll ask Tom to assist you. He’s an MD.”

“How will that help?”

“Surely, a Master of Defense could come in handy. But if he’s not available just use your knowledge of martial arts to defend us.”

“I know martial art?”

“Bob, don’t be shy. Darlene overheard you last week at the bull fight discussing Who Flung Dung.”

“I did but that was a …”

“Just use Who Flung Dung and protect our guests.”

“I don’t think you understand …”

“I see the problem. You’re afraid things could get messy if you Flung dung.”

And on it went until finally I agreed to stand by the door with a calculator in my pocket ready to defend the invitees from all the bad numbers including Dirty Harry. So come on, Harry. Go ahead. Make my day.

SIMPLE PLEASURES

Last night on our way to dinner, we passed the neighborhood fruit and vegetable market.  Sam mentioned she needed to stop any buy some bananas.  So we stopped.  Bob reached high on the shelf and broke off a small bunch of bananas, put them on the scale and paid a total of 5 pesos or about 42 cents for 7 bananas.  What a deal!

While Bob was paying for the bananas, four little Mexican children were giggling and looking at us.  One of them said hello in English.  So Sam engaged the children in a little chit chat using her best Spanish.  They talked about the children returning to school in the morning from Christmas vacation.  They were all siblings, three girls and one boy.  Diego was the youngest and in kinder, Maria in 1st grade, Sandra in 3rd grade, and the oldest, Paula in 5th grade.  Their mother was with them and helped them answer some of Sam's questions.  As we were leaving, they all yelled out, "Buenas Noches"..."good night". 

The little things in life that make us happy.

CRIME PREVENTION IN SMA

Like any big city, San Miguel de Allende has its share of crime. Petty theft, street muggings, car theft, etc. For a city like San Miguel this is downright uncouth and must be dealt with appropriately.


So, a while ago, a group of well-meaning gringos decided the answer to crime reduction and prevention in San Miguel was yoga. In fact, this group put on a fund raiser to pay for the necessary equipment to perform yoga and to hire a yoga instructor. Many local artists, song writers and the well-to-do helped raise $10,000 pesos for this project. The beneficiaries of this largess? Prison inmates. That’s right, the prisoners held behind barbed wire not far from Tuesday Market where they previously sold the goods stolen from the local artists, song writers and the well-to-do have been subjected to yoga. Water boarding is rather distasteful but force a man to contort into a pretzel and it’s deemed progressive.

To teach proper yoga you must have a Yogi; a master in the art of contortion, breathing and meditation. Thankfully, Yogi Jorge was nearby and readily available in cell block B. Jorge is a big man with excessive tattoos. His nickname is “El Oso” or “The Bear”. That’s right, Yogi Bear will be teaching yoga to the inmates.

Yogi Bear had no trouble enlisting new recruits. All he did was tell them that yoga is a Hindu discipline, “…for obtaining liberation of the physical world…” Given the poor quality of the “physical world” in the prison, liberation from it seemed like a good idea to many. Last year the prison yard was full of angry vulgar men playing basketball, lifting weights and sharing criminal techniques. Today the yard is a tranquil sea of men on yoga mats working their way through their daily routine.

Yogi Bear has had many graduating classes. Former prisoners skilled in the fine art of yoga now roam the streets of San Miguel each with his very own yoga mat with matching sandals. Crime still exists in San Miguel and Yogi Bear’s students are still the cause but crimes are committed with much more finesse and thoughtfulness. So much so, that during afternoon cocktails, many of the enlightened citizenry discuss the pleasures of having been mugged by a student of Yogi Bear. Was the mugger thoughtful? Did he use proper form and technique? Did he control his breathing ever so right?

It’s not all fun and games, however. Yogi Bear’s former students prowl the streets with their yoga mats slung over their shoulders. Many have tie dyed their mats with gang colors, albeit muted colors so as not to be offensive. Unfortunately, the colors and sizes of the mats have led to jealousy. There’s only one way to resolve this problem and that’s a yoga rumble in Parque Juarez. Rival gangs arrive in the park determined to find the rightful owners of the best mats. It’s an ugly sight when gang members square-off against each other. The tranquility of the park is lost as these men open their mats, assume a yoga position, and then meditate and contort their way to victory and control of the most glorious mats.

So, while Yogi Bear’s program has not been one-hundred percent successful in eliminating crime it has elevated it to a more genteel level. A level of thoughtfulness and spirituality befitting a town such as San Miguel de Allende.

NEW YEAR'S EVE IN SAN MIGUEL DE ALLENDE

Earlier yesterday afternoon we took a walk to the Jardin and noticed that a crew of people was setting up a big stage. The Jardin was packed full of people. They were young, old, Mexicans, foreigners all dressed in different ways. It’s like a fashion…non fashion show. You could feel the upcoming big night of celebration in the air. We sat on a park bench for a while to soak up some warm sun rays and absorb the surroundings.


We had already decided that we weren’t going out to one of these fancy high priced places for dinner. Several restaurants were charging one price for a fixed menu. Most of them were around $80 per person with an open bar while others offered an open bar of unlimited house wines. How much wine can one drink? We thought about just going to the small restaurant across the street from our new casa for a quiet dinner and then come home early.

Well, around 6:30 p.m., Bob suggested we could walk back to the Jardin and see what was happening. If we could find a place to have dinner so be it. If not, we could come home and have bacon and eggs. Immediately, Sam took Bob up on this offer. We both really had the same restaurant in mind, Socialitte. It is the same restaurant where we had our Christmas Eve dinner. Sam decided to call to see if we could get a nice table for two around 7:30 p.m. Good luck with that. The city is packed. Sam talked to one of the waiters, Jorge. Jorge told us he would be sure to seat us.

Quickly we changed our clothes…at least Sam did. Bob did put on a nice sweater. We decided not to take our camera. The less we had to worry about the better with all of the crowds. We were going to walk then Bob spotted a taxi and hailed it. Guess what? It was a four door pick-up truck taxi. On New Year’s Eve we took a pick-up taxi? Yep, and it was just fine. Bob sat in the front and chatted in Spanish with the driver all the way to Socialitte.

When we walked in the door, we were very surprised to see the restaurant almost empty. Jorge greeted us and asked if we were the Zimmerman’s. He told us he had our usual table ready for us. This made Bob very happy as he didn’t want to be stuck in a corner or with a terrible view. Most people don’t eat early on New Year’s Eve. That didn’t matter to us. We just wanted a nice quiet dinner. It also gave us a chance to talk to one of the owner’s, Pepe.

We talked about the last decade and the major changes in our lives. We enjoyed a nice bottle of Malbec wine along with a delicious salad that consisted of mixed greens with pear, strawberries, walnuts and blue cheese. For our main course Sam had lamb chops and Bob had veal medallions with a very nice sauce. Bob is still raving about his dinner. Of course, being New Year’s Eve, we had to have a glass of sparkling wine and a chocolate dessert. Being at an Italian restaurant, we had prosecco. As to the dessert, they called it chocolate soufflé. We called it a chocolate molten cake. It was a perfect combination and perfect for the two of us. The total cost of our dinner for two including tip was $100. Half of what we would have spent at one of the “package” places and we had a superb dinner and great service.

Just as we were leaving, the restaurant was filling up. A couple walked in and didn’t have reservations. They got the table for two right in the walkway by the kitchen. They were very pleased just to get a table. They were visiting from California for 10 days and mentioned that this was the only restaurant that they revisited during their stay.

We left Socialitte’s getting big hugs from Pepe and Jorge. The evening was nice. There was a little coolness in the air. We walked to the Jardin. It was packed. We held on to each other so we wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. We were wondering what it feels like in New York City on New Year’s Eve? The crowd in San Miguel de Allende was enough for us. Walking to the far corner of the Jardin to hail a taxi, we noticed a crowd of people gathering. We heard sirens. What could possibly be happening? Well, it was a small parade of police, fire trucks, and ambulances.

Returning home around 10:15 p.m. we noticed a lot of people in our neighborhood. The church was packed, the bells were ringing, and everyone was definitely in a party mood. Oh no, what is it going to be like to sleep tonight? This is our first New Year’s Eve in San Miguel. We got ready for bed and laid there listening to all of the bells and noise. At 10:40 p.m. we decided to put in our earplugs and dream the night away. To our surprise neither of us heard much all night long.

Happy New Year!!