SHIVERS AND SHAKES SOUTH OF THE BORDER

Buuurrrrrr…baby its cold outside! We know, we know, you’re thinking, “How in the world can they be so cold if they are in Mexico”? Well, the elevation here is 6,400 feet. We are on top of a mountain. We know it is very cold in the States but let us tell you…it was 27 degrees F overnight. This morning it was 32 degrees F when Sam got up. This is the fourth straight night of cold, and we are expecting another cold night tonight. We have three blankets on our bed. During the day, we wear lots of layers of clothing. One must remember here in Mexico, we don’t have central heating. Yes, we do have a gas fireplace in our bedroom; however, you can’t leave it on all night. If we left it on, we might wake up dead and this would surely ruin our trip although our heirs would be happy. This morning, after scraping the ice off the inside of our windows, we noticed once again that the sun didn’t rise and global warming wasn’t going to save us.


Every time Bob complains about the cold, Sam reminds him of the Michigan winters. He stops, thinks, shakes his head, and puts on another sweater, and says, “This too shall pass”. The weather prediction is for a couple more nights of cold weather. The last several days have been cloudy; hopefully the sun will shine during the day. When the sun is out, it certainly makes a huge difference.

Last night, we decided to eat in; it was way too cold to go out to eat. Who wants to pay a good price, be cold, and shiver during their meal? Not us. By cooking, it actually heated up the kitchen. We made goulash…good comfort food...the serrano chili pepper Sam added also heated us up, salad, homemade garlic toast, and a glass or two of wine.

The relationship between cooking, eating and drinking to stay warm have not gone unnoticed by other snowbirds. When we do venture out, all the small tiendas, carnicerias, etc. are packed with gringo shoppers buying any and all of the pantry staples and goodies available. All return to their cold cement homes intent on eating and drinking their way to warmth. This will, of course, work just fine and we will continue our eating and drinking binge. From our window we have just learned of another phenomena that should help us.

Every morning the guy who lives across the street comes out and smokes a joint in the middle of the road. Today is no exception. He looked comfortable in his flip-flops and shorts. He casually stood on the icy street and enjoyed his smoke without seeming to notice the cold whatsoever. Bingo! We started smoking marijuana this morning and are hopeful of feeling warmer soon. Undoubtedly, the Mexican drug cartels will be happy but this will lead to the munchies and even more eating. Of course, the enormous increase in bloated bodies from all this eating will have direct and proportional ramifications on the quality of people watching on the beaches of Cancun this spring.

Sales of hot coffee are off the charts. Our latest pastime is to peer out our cold windows and watch the brave souls walking the streets as we try to discern their shivers and twitches. Are they the result of the cold or excess caffeine? Sam seems to think the full body wiggle is from the cold. I guess she’s right. What we debate are the rapid hand twitches, some resulting in a quick head scratch, grasping of the nose or the feeble swatting of a fly that clearly isn’t there. One old guy twitched and nearly knocked his wife silly. We weren’t sure if this was the result of the caffeine, the cold or the convenient timing of a domestic dispute. Unsure of the cause and to avoid this potential problem in our household, Sam pried the coffee cup from Bob’s hand, pulled the joint from his lips and suggested that he stand by the fire and quickly eat another burrito.

The cold isn’t about to let up soon so we expect to have many more opportunities to collect observations and hone our investigative skills of the shivers and shakes.

We hope in the morning to have a warm breakfast. This should be possible assuming we can thaw the eggs to the point that they will crack and the milk will pour. This could take awhile and maybe we will be able to have breakfast for lunch. This leads to another problem, before long, the timing of our meals will be all out of whack; we will soon be having dinner for breakfast, which of course includes a glass of wine. The implications are astounding. How long will it be until we have breakfast for dinner and will not be able to resist a glass of wine with our meal? Are we to have white wine with our eggs or red wine with the meal because of the bacon? We are in uncharted territory here and in desperate need of advice. Does anyone have any?